Love Can Come in Bottles, Too.
How can we be all those things?
Well, we believe that breastfeeding our babies is an incredible gift, but that sometimes it simply doesn't happen the way we planned.
We are not here to encourage or discourage any particular choice parents make on how to nourish their babies. We are here to support the ones who struggled or are struggling to breastfeed and are facing the guilt that often comes along with deciding to stop breastfeeding.
We have both experienced this personally, and have gone through all the guilt alone, so we wanted to start this tumblr to post encouragement and to answer your questions and concerns as you make this sometimes difficult and traumatic transition.
We want you to bottle-feed without fear of judgement, and without guilt. You are doing the best that you can do for your baby given your particular circumstances. Be assured that the love and care you take in making this sometimes agonizing decision shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that love can come in bottles, too.
This is a wonderful read. It is great to have ideals, but sometimes we or those we know cannot or choose not to meet those ideals, and that is okay. Support for one another in our commonality and our differences is how we will all succeed and learn from one another.
I had to do a lot of growing within in order to bring myself to breastfeed. Negative sexual encounters really affect the way we view our bodies. I can relate all too well. With that said, I am happy I was able to heal. I was able to heal BY breastfeeding. It gave my body parts new meaning. I am able to be selfless with my body. I am fortunate I was able to do this. I am sure for many mothers (like the one mentioned in this story) it may take an entire lifetime to heal.
An excellent perspective and a good reason never to negatively judge a mother for her feeding choice.
(via hunnyisforbeessillybear)
Lily: I just thought I would share something that one of my son’s donor breast milk mommas (named Kieu) wrote today, regarding her experiences with exclusively pumping breastmilk for her 14-month-old (named Kaden). I thought it was a wonderful message and I admire her for her strength to overcome adversity!
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This month marks a full year I have been exclusively pumping milk for my Kaden. Looking back, I can’t believe the amount of time I’ve spent pumping, starting out 8 sessions a day, half an hour per session, and now down to 5 sessions. I usually get 5 oz per session. That would average out to be 320 liters of milk a year! Holy cow! That’s a lot of milk!
I always knew I wanted to breast-feed Kaden way before I had him. [Not breastfeeding him] wasn’t even an option for me. What I wasn’t aware of was there are all kinds of problems that can prevent a mom from nursing: from latch issues, to postpartum depression, to oversupply (a condition where milk is over-produced and comes down so fast that when the baby latches on, he chokes). I had this condition; it was frustrating feeding him as he would latch on for a few seconds then started to yank off and cry hysterically. I would have kept on trying, but Kaden didn’t gain enough weight.
After 2 months of breast-feeding Kaden, I decided to exclusively pump milk for him. This way I knew the exact amount he was eating. I was saddened- I loved the skin to skin contact with my son. It was the closest contact I had with him…
Pumping milk is not an easy task as it may seem to be. I need to be consistent with the sessions to keep up with milk production. It means I need to wake up at the odd hours of 2 or 3 in the morning, not counting a stiff neck from looking down so much. I also get nipple pain from too much pumping. It was easier when Kaden was little. Now that he is mobile, it’s harder because sometimes he needs his mommy. A lot of times it happens to be during pumping sessions. All of these obstacles frustrated me, and at times, I wanted to give up! “To hell with it,” I thought…
But then I looked at my son, knowing what the benefits breast milk have done for him this far, I can’t stop. (Well, I vent to my husband instead. Sorry, Hon!) I also learned about other moms who can’t produce milk at all, who look for donors’ milk to feed their babies. These moms give me perspective and motivation to keep on pumping…
I am not trying to be a SUPER mom.
I am far from being a SUPER mom.
I just believe wholeheartedly in the benefits of breast milk, its protection against diseases. Not one single formula out there can come close to breast milk. Isn’t nature incredible for supplying the best food for babies?
I am not judging other moms who choose other outlets other than breast milk. You do what you think is best for your babies. My goal is to share my story with other moms. And that if I can do it, you can too, because God knows I am the most impatient person in this planet! Amazing, just like that, time flies. One year of pumping milk has gone by…
Cheers to another year of pumping for Kaden.
Bottom line: in my opinion, it is always helpful to do what you can, but what makes you a good mom is not whether or not you breastfeed. Doing everything you can to do what is best for your baby is what makes you a good mom.
Failure. Guilt. Ashamed. Bad Mother. Struggling. Not the best for my baby. Can’t even provide for my own child. Devastated. Those were all thoughts that ran through my head as I struggled, fought, and lost in attempting to exclusively breastfeed my daughter. My whole pregnancy I was prepared to exclusively breastfeed. I shunned the formula samples that came in the mail and immediately gave them away once they arrived at my door. I was thrilled and excited to be able to provide my daughter’s nutrition once she was born! I was training to be a birth doula and had gone over breastfeeding information in my classes and was filled with the expectation that even if it’s hard it will work eventually, that I just needed to stick with it. Unfortunately life doesn’t always work out how you plan.
“A growing awareness of the importance of breast milk for babies has accelerated the demand for human milk at a time when processed donor milk is scarce and costly,” says Amy Spangler, president of baby gooroo. “Intent on giving their babies what every baby needs most, mothers are bypassing milk banks and going directly to the supplier—other breastfeeding mothers with milk to spare.”
Unhappy? If you’re a mom, a new study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies may explain why: Intense parenting makes mothers miserable.
According to Science Daily, researchers found that mothers who have an intense parenting philosophy are more likely to be unhappy, and even clinically depressed, than those who don’t. What is intense parenting? If you’re a mom who thinks nothing is more important — not your time or your health or your needs — than your child, you may be in for some serious problems.
More specifically, the study’s authors defined intense parenting as those who believe:
- mothers, not fathers, are the most necessary and capable parent
- parents’ happiness is derived primarily from their children
- parents should always provide their children with stimulating activities that aid in their development
- parenting is more difficult than working
- a parent should always sacrifice their needs for the needs of the child
For all those mother who have had to or chosen to bottle-feed, check it out!
You are not alone. Even though our stories may be slightly different, the thing we have in common is that we love, feed and nurture our babies. Why not read some stories from our members, share their highs and lows and follow their journey as they became proud of how they feed their little ones.
Let’s face it, having trouble breastfeeding can be a downer. But is it also a red flag that you are at risk for postpartum depression? Yes, say researchers from the University of North Carolina whose recent study of over 2,500 new moms found that women who admit they don’t like to breastfeed–or who experience breastfeeding difficulties during the first few weeks after birth–have much higher rates of postpartum depression than moms for whom breastfeeding comes easy.
