Love Can Come in Bottles, Too.
How can we be all those things?
Well, we believe that breastfeeding our babies is an incredible gift, but that sometimes it simply doesn't happen the way we planned.
We are not here to encourage or discourage any particular choice parents make on how to nourish their babies. We are here to support the ones who struggled or are struggling to breastfeed and are facing the guilt that often comes along with deciding to stop breastfeeding.
We have both experienced this personally, and have gone through all the guilt alone, so we wanted to start this tumblr to post encouragement and to answer your questions and concerns as you make this sometimes difficult and traumatic transition.
We want you to bottle-feed without fear of judgement, and without guilt. You are doing the best that you can do for your baby given your particular circumstances. Be assured that the love and care you take in making this sometimes agonizing decision shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that love can come in bottles, too.
“I feel guilty because every time I make the mistake of reading about breastfeeding and formula, I’m faced with you, dear breastfeeding advocate, telling me that the very thing that helped keep my daughter alive was poison.
So tell me, are you proud of yourself?
Do you still think formula is poison?
Signed,
A mom just like you”
This is a wonderful read. It is great to have ideals, but sometimes we or those we know cannot or choose not to meet those ideals, and that is okay. Support for one another in our commonality and our differences is how we will all succeed and learn from one another.
I had to do a lot of growing within in order to bring myself to breastfeed. Negative sexual encounters really affect the way we view our bodies. I can relate all too well. With that said, I am happy I was able to heal. I was able to heal BY breastfeeding. It gave my body parts new meaning. I am able to be selfless with my body. I am fortunate I was able to do this. I am sure for many mothers (like the one mentioned in this story) it may take an entire lifetime to heal.
An excellent perspective and a good reason never to negatively judge a mother for her feeding choice.
(via hunnyisforbeessillybear)
“So you may feel like you want to quit. Don’t. Pick up the motherhood towel right now and instead tell yourself you can do this today. You can. You can for your family. Don’t look at how Sally is mothering, or what the facebook status states, or the pinterest picture of the perfect mother. You are the perfect mother for your children today. Do not let the world qualify your motherhood. There is no price tag large enough that would ever illustrate the true value of motherhood. You are an amazing gift to your family.”
Lily: I just thought I would share something that one of my son’s donor breast milk mommas (named Kieu) wrote today, regarding her experiences with exclusively pumping breastmilk for her 14-month-old (named Kaden). I thought it was a wonderful message and I admire her for her strength to overcome adversity!
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This month marks a full year I have been exclusively pumping milk for my Kaden. Looking back, I can’t believe the amount of time I’ve spent pumping, starting out 8 sessions a day, half an hour per session, and now down to 5 sessions. I usually get 5 oz per session. That would average out to be 320 liters of milk a year! Holy cow! That’s a lot of milk!
I always knew I wanted to breast-feed Kaden way before I had him. [Not breastfeeding him] wasn’t even an option for me. What I wasn’t aware of was there are all kinds of problems that can prevent a mom from nursing: from latch issues, to postpartum depression, to oversupply (a condition where milk is over-produced and comes down so fast that when the baby latches on, he chokes). I had this condition; it was frustrating feeding him as he would latch on for a few seconds then started to yank off and cry hysterically. I would have kept on trying, but Kaden didn’t gain enough weight.
After 2 months of breast-feeding Kaden, I decided to exclusively pump milk for him. This way I knew the exact amount he was eating. I was saddened- I loved the skin to skin contact with my son. It was the closest contact I had with him…
Pumping milk is not an easy task as it may seem to be. I need to be consistent with the sessions to keep up with milk production. It means I need to wake up at the odd hours of 2 or 3 in the morning, not counting a stiff neck from looking down so much. I also get nipple pain from too much pumping. It was easier when Kaden was little. Now that he is mobile, it’s harder because sometimes he needs his mommy. A lot of times it happens to be during pumping sessions. All of these obstacles frustrated me, and at times, I wanted to give up! “To hell with it,” I thought…
But then I looked at my son, knowing what the benefits breast milk have done for him this far, I can’t stop. (Well, I vent to my husband instead. Sorry, Hon!) I also learned about other moms who can’t produce milk at all, who look for donors’ milk to feed their babies. These moms give me perspective and motivation to keep on pumping…
I am not trying to be a SUPER mom.
I am far from being a SUPER mom.
I just believe wholeheartedly in the benefits of breast milk, its protection against diseases. Not one single formula out there can come close to breast milk. Isn’t nature incredible for supplying the best food for babies?
I am not judging other moms who choose other outlets other than breast milk. You do what you think is best for your babies. My goal is to share my story with other moms. And that if I can do it, you can too, because God knows I am the most impatient person in this planet! Amazing, just like that, time flies. One year of pumping milk has gone by…
Cheers to another year of pumping for Kaden.
In the end, we all need to feed our babies. How we choose to do that should not reflect on our ability to mother, but on our decision to do what’s best for our own children.
The politics of breastfeeding in this country is, after all, more about mothering than about milk. And mothers, for some reason, have always been the most meddled-with, second-guessed people on earth. Just a few decades ago, doctors in this country would push breastfeeding women to use formula if their babies weren’t gaining weight at an acceptable rate, and mothers who nursed outside the home were considered lewd. Now, a mom who gives a hungry infant a little formula is led to believe by some people she’s poisoning him. When will the world learn to trust mothers? When will concerned strangers give women they don’t know the benefit of the doubt? These are matters that society may tackle someday. In the meantime, moms soldier on, doing what they must — the very best they can.
Hey, Time magazine.
In regard to the question “Are You Mom Enough?” on your incendiary cover about attachment parenting, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we practice attachment parenting or not, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we’re a mom or a dad, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we feel like a success or a failure, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we’re having a good day or a bad day, the answer is “Yes.”
And whether a global publication understands it or not, the answer is “Yes.”
We are mom enough because we love our children.
AMEN.
It turns out, I had Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, a hormonal reflex that occurs with the letdown of breastmilk. It is also known as D-MER and I will refer to it as such throughout this post.
The summer of babies is upon us.
I thought I’d start compiling a list – for me to revisit and read when I’m in sleep-deprived psychosis, flying off the handle at every little thing, weeping over the dirt on my floor, and telling the cat that I’m going to sell him because he’s such an obnoxious freak of nature.
And for the other new moms out there who are at this very moment yelling at their pets and spouses, wondering if they will ever feel normal again.
