Love Can Come in Bottles, Too.
How can we be all those things?
Well, we believe that breastfeeding our babies is an incredible gift, but that sometimes it simply doesn't happen the way we planned.
We are not here to encourage or discourage any particular choice parents make on how to nourish their babies. We are here to support the ones who struggled or are struggling to breastfeed and are facing the guilt that often comes along with deciding to stop breastfeeding.
We have both experienced this personally, and have gone through all the guilt alone, so we wanted to start this tumblr to post encouragement and to answer your questions and concerns as you make this sometimes difficult and traumatic transition.
We want you to bottle-feed without fear of judgement, and without guilt. You are doing the best that you can do for your baby given your particular circumstances. Be assured that the love and care you take in making this sometimes agonizing decision shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that love can come in bottles, too.
Hey, Time magazine.
In regard to the question “Are You Mom Enough?” on your incendiary cover about attachment parenting, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we practice attachment parenting or not, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we’re a mom or a dad, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we feel like a success or a failure, the answer is “Yes.”
Whether we’re having a good day or a bad day, the answer is “Yes.”
And whether a global publication understands it or not, the answer is “Yes.”
We are mom enough because we love our children.
AMEN.
Being a mom is a hard enough job without people judging you on how you feed, whether you cloth diaper or use disposables, or whether you cosleep or babywear; and I can’t help but wonder if we supported each other instead of judging each other if maybe (just maybe) this mothering thing wouldn’t be as hard.
Even though I breastfed exclusively for the first six months, the miserable time I had with it makes me completely understand why someone wouldn’t want to do it. For one thing, all the mother-child bonding studies aside, the pain associated with it could easily make one resent her newborn, and thus hinder the bonding experience. While exclusive breastfeeding (and “exclusive” makes the whole practice sound so much more chic than it actually is) might not be as problematic for other women, it still requires a lot of a mom, both physically and mentally. If anything were to dissuade a new mother from breastfeeding, it’d probably be the pain and fatigue, not a hospital sample of Similac. But, you know, either way: Her body, her choice. And well-meaning consumer advocate groups should maybe focus their efforts on causes that don’t interfere with that.
Dear Mama,
It’s me, your child. The one who wakes you up at 3 a.m. because my stomach is the size of a golf ball or being held five times tonight isn’t quite enough. The one who finds it hilarious to dump oatmeal all over the floor and your hair if I can manage it. The one whose diapers tempt you to contact your country’s military research department because that smell is a good candidate for the next devastating non-lethal weapon. Put down the Dr. Sears tome, the iPhone on that sanctimommy blog, the e-reader with that book about breastfeeding being a womanly art on screen. Do I have your attention? Good.
When you have a baby, you know that you are in for lots of things. Sleepless nights, being peed and puked on, having your heart broken, laughing your biggest laugh, and crying your hardest cries ever are to be expected. One thing no one tells you is that you will be judged by every single person that you come into contact with for just about every single decision you make in regards to that baby.
Ah, breastfeeding and formula. It seems like forever since we’ve been able to talk about infant feeding without immediately getting sidetracked into the explosive meta discussion about how we should talk about it, or, more often, how we shouldn’t.
The ability to discern between truth-telling and guilt-tripping seems to get a little hazy to all involved sometimes. In the interest of lancing the boil I present the following cheatsheet on how not to become a breastfeeding Nazi—and how not to see them where they are not.
In this video, Summer talks about her feeding choices for both of her children.
Oh man. My favorite topic. I love to talk about breastfeeding. I mean, you know, just as much as I loved doing it. Which was not at all. And before the Le Leche League comes after me, I should say that I really did give it a fair shot. But, Taylor. Oh, sweet Taylor…. he just had this intense latch. (Come to think of it, he has an intense everything!) And my breastfeeding parts couldn’t seem to handle it. Actually, it might be better for me to explain this in person…
Worse was the guilt and anxiety. None of it made any sense, but thankfully, it’s over. I was not able to breastfeed Stella past 11 and a half weeks and I am officially 100% okay with that. I feel a new sense of freedom and confidence. I really, really do. This can only be very good for me and Stella.
It is not uncommon that nursing mothers receive negative comments from their relatives, friends, or even complete strangers about how they feed their baby. Some people (mistakenly) think it is “gross” or that it shouldn’t be done in public, etc. Moms hear comments like, “Are you STILL doing that?” or “Didn’t you just feed her an hour ago?” or “He’s not gaining enough, you better supplement with formula” from people who don’t just understand the breastfeeding process.
Then on the other hand, some health care workers and well-meaning but not so tactful breastfeeding activists sometimes condemn formula-feeding mothers and try to “lecture” to them about the better way in a pushy manner. These mothers often end up feeling guilty after such attacks if they couldn’t/didn’t breastfeed.
