Love Can Come in Bottles, Too.
How can we be all those things?
Well, we believe that breastfeeding our babies is an incredible gift, but that sometimes it simply doesn't happen the way we planned.
We are not here to encourage or discourage any particular choice parents make on how to nourish their babies. We are here to support the ones who struggled or are struggling to breastfeed and are facing the guilt that often comes along with deciding to stop breastfeeding.
We have both experienced this personally, and have gone through all the guilt alone, so we wanted to start this tumblr to post encouragement and to answer your questions and concerns as you make this sometimes difficult and traumatic transition.
We want you to bottle-feed without fear of judgement, and without guilt. You are doing the best that you can do for your baby given your particular circumstances. Be assured that the love and care you take in making this sometimes agonizing decision shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that love can come in bottles, too.
“Having a low milk supply has been extremely tough emotionally. I felt like I was failing my baby, not being able to do what is ‘supposed’ to come naturally. Having a sick baby, trying to pump around the clock and still try and breast feed was very stressful and often made my supply issues worse. I will be forever grateful to the wonderful women who donated their precious milk. They gave me the gift of having one less thing to worry about. It took pressure off me in times of very high stress and they have given the greatest gift of nutrition to my son. I wish milk sharing was more widely accepted as the norm.I still struggle with supply so still express (once daily these days) as well as take prescription medication and natural galactologues. With the help of these things we are still breast feeding at 19 months and I hope to continue until we are both ready to stop.”
“Judgey breastfeeders, I’m talking to you. Find something nice to say, be informed, or don’t say anything. Breastfeeding can’t afford this kind of pettiness and we can do better.”
This is a wonderful read. It is great to have ideals, but sometimes we or those we know cannot or choose not to meet those ideals, and that is okay. Support for one another in our commonality and our differences is how we will all succeed and learn from one another.
I had to do a lot of growing within in order to bring myself to breastfeed. Negative sexual encounters really affect the way we view our bodies. I can relate all too well. With that said, I am happy I was able to heal. I was able to heal BY breastfeeding. It gave my body parts new meaning. I am able to be selfless with my body. I am fortunate I was able to do this. I am sure for many mothers (like the one mentioned in this story) it may take an entire lifetime to heal.
An excellent perspective and a good reason never to negatively judge a mother for her feeding choice.
Lily: I just thought I would share something that one of my son’s donor breast milk mommas (named Kieu) wrote today, regarding her experiences with exclusively pumping breastmilk for her 14-month-old (named Kaden). I thought it was a wonderful message and I admire her for her strength to overcome adversity!
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This month marks a full year I have been exclusively pumping milk for my Kaden. Looking back, I can’t believe the amount of time I’ve spent pumping, starting out 8 sessions a day, half an hour per session, and now down to 5 sessions. I usually get 5 oz per session. That would average out to be 320 liters of milk a year! Holy cow! That’s a lot of milk!
I always knew I wanted to breast-feed Kaden way before I had him. [Not breastfeeding him] wasn’t even an option for me. What I wasn’t aware of was there are all kinds of problems that can prevent a mom from nursing: from latch issues, to postpartum depression, to oversupply (a condition where milk is over-produced and comes down so fast that when the baby latches on, he chokes). I had this condition; it was frustrating feeding him as he would latch on for a few seconds then started to yank off and cry hysterically. I would have kept on trying, but Kaden didn’t gain enough weight.
After 2 months of breast-feeding Kaden, I decided to exclusively pump milk for him. This way I knew the exact amount he was eating. I was saddened- I loved the skin to skin contact with my son. It was the closest contact I had with him…
Pumping milk is not an easy task as it may seem to be. I need to be consistent with the sessions to keep up with milk production. It means I need to wake up at the odd hours of 2 or 3 in the morning, not counting a stiff neck from looking down so much. I also get nipple pain from too much pumping. It was easier when Kaden was little. Now that he is mobile, it’s harder because sometimes he needs his mommy. A lot of times it happens to be during pumping sessions. All of these obstacles frustrated me, and at times, I wanted to give up! “To hell with it,” I thought…
But then I looked at my son, knowing what the benefits breast milk have done for him this far, I can’t stop. (Well, I vent to my husband instead. Sorry, Hon!) I also learned about other moms who can’t produce milk at all, who look for donors’ milk to feed their babies. These moms give me perspective and motivation to keep on pumping…
I am not trying to be a SUPER mom.
I am far from being a SUPER mom.
I just believe wholeheartedly in the benefits of breast milk, its protection against diseases. Not one single formula out there can come close to breast milk. Isn’t nature incredible for supplying the best food for babies?
I am not judging other moms who choose other outlets other than breast milk. You do what you think is best for your babies. My goal is to share my story with other moms. And that if I can do it, you can too, because God knows I am the most impatient person in this planet! Amazing, just like that, time flies. One year of pumping milk has gone by…
Cheers to another year of pumping for Kaden.
Rather, I think — and let me not mince words here — that bullying women into breast-feeding and vilifying those who don’t is disgusting. It is, I believe, profoundly wrong to make mothers feel that because they bottle-feed or bottle-fed their babies — from birth, as a supplement or after a return to work — they are unnatural, negligent, selfish idiots.
These research findings suggest that a process of cultural transmission has turned provision of health information about the benefits of breastfeeding into a campaign against formula use. The effects of this upon women, babies, and health professionals, are very problematic.
The main recommendation that can be made on the basis of our research is that use of formula milk needs to be depoliticised and treated objectively as a routine aspect of baby care, rather than as a moral issue. Politics need to be taken out of communication with women regarding the health benefits of breastmilk. While women need to know the health benefits of breastmilk, informing them about this nutritional issue needs to be detached from negativity about formula use.
Great blog post about how breast feeding is not always possible.
Letting your baby take a bottle from dad is a great way to encourage bonding and gives mom a much-needed break. There’s a special closeness that comes with feeding your new baby. Gazing at one another, feeling the tenderness of skin-to-skin contact, and knowing that you’re providing vital nourishment make feeding time the ideal time to bond. But feeding is not a pleasure reserved for mothers alone. Dads, too, can get in on the bonding action – even if Mom is breastfeeding.
Practical advice on how dads can be great bottlefeeders.
When you bottle-feed, you can create a loving connection. The key is to make feeding time not just about food, but also about love and attention from you or your partner. Here are four tips to boost the bonding experience.
