The Breastfeeding Myth. →
How about this? Let’s agree that breastfeeding is ideal. Let’s agree that public policies and workplaces should support it better. But let’s also acknowledge that bottle-feeding moms need encouragement too. Cruelty helps no one — not babies, not moms. Imagine if we took half the energy we spend sniping at the formula crowd and turned it, instead, toward making it easier for...
Postpartum Depression is REAL. →
I say all this to let you know that if you are going through a similar experience, you are not alone. If you or a new mom you know has had or is having these kinds of thoughts or having a hard time bonding with your new baby, I sincerely urge you to ask for help. Speak up. People are there to help, I promise. Please don’t suffer in silence. There is no shame in admitting you need help and...
Why You Should Breastfeed. →
The title of this post is misleading. I’m not going to preach at you– chances are someone has already done that. Nor am I going to list all the health benefits of breastfeeding– I know plenty of people have done that. Actually, I’m going to tell you why I think it’s totally fine if you don’t breastfeed. Or use cloth diapers. Or have natural childbirth. Or wear your baby. Or do any of the other...
Just Because We Can't Breastfeed Doesn't Mean... →
What really bothers me about a lot of what I hear lately is that these people apparently think that we’re stupid. Many of them really seem to believe that just because THEY said that milksharing is not safe (in their opinion), that we shouldn’t do it. Here’s the truth: Those of us who feed our babies donated breastmilk are not a bunch of overzealous lactivist lunatics. We are parents who want...
You Are Not a Failure... →
There is nothing I admire more than someone who has lived through tremendous difficulties and is willing to fight battles to ensure that others don’t have to go through the same thing. I know that is a hard thing to take on and that it re-opens wounds continually, but it is incredibly admirable and courageous. It helps change the world for the better. Some people can do that and others...
Breastfeeding is a Bummer. →
Breast-feeding is hard. It is hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. If a magical fairy showed up at my doorstep tomorrow and said, “You never have to breast feed again and your baby will magically get your breast milk and all the nutrition, immunity and awesomeness that goes along with it. BUT…in order for this to happen, you have to go through labor and birth again.” I...
Formula-Feeding Does Not Make Me a Failure. →
So please, continue to let new moms know that breastfeeding is absolutely amazing. That is unbelievably the best thing for a baby. Share with them tips and support. But stop making the non-breastfeeders feel like failures. I did not fail my three babies. I DID NOT fail my three babies. I am not a bad mom. If you are pregnant or are a new mom, I encourage you to breastfeed. Try. Talk to...
Breast-Free Breastfeeding: Exclusive Pumping's... →
If some pumpers sound vaguely defensive, it’s because they’re tired of explaining their choice. Women who have only nursed their children can have a hard time understanding exclusive pumping, which many see as an overly mechanized chore to achieve a natural end. Others, including husbands and relatives, urge these women to use formula rather than embark on a grueling pumping...
5 Things That Make You a Breastfeeding Nazi... and... →
Ah, breastfeeding and formula. It seems like forever since we’ve been able to talk about infant feeding without immediately getting sidetracked into the explosive meta discussion about how we should talk about it, or, more often, how we shouldn’t. The ability to discern between truth-telling and guilt-tripping seems to get a little hazy to all involved sometimes. In the interest of lancing the...
Bottle or Breast: Which is Best? →
The whole breastfeeding “debate,” such as it is, is a tempest in a sippy cup. Arguing about which scientific studies prove what — even if one side someday clearly “wins” — is an academic exercise, utterly divorced from women’s real, everyday experience. Because we don’t read the Journal of the American Medical Association to decide whether, or how long, to...
It can be really stressful for parents when their babies are crying. Parenting coach Dr. Carrie Contey explains the connection between baby crying and guilt.
Moms Who Can't Breast-Feed Find Milk Donors... →
New mothers are told again and again that breast milk is the healthiest food for babies. But not all mothers are able to nurse. Some of them have discovered they can still give their babies the benefits of breast milk by feeding them milk donated by other moms. And they’re finding those moms on Facebook. The federal government thinks that’s a bad idea, but that’s not stopping...
Getting Over New-Mom Guilt. →
“So many devoted moms think that no matter what they do for their children, it’s not enough — and our culture plays into that insecurity,” says Susan Douglas, Ph.D., coauthor of The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women. But you can end the self-flagellation. Here, the top reasons that new moms feel guilty, and what you can do to...
"He Just Had This Intense Latch..." →
In this video, Summer talks about her feeding choices for both of her children. Oh man. My favorite topic. I love to talk about breastfeeding. I mean, you know, just as much as I loved doing it. Which was not at all. And before the Le Leche League comes after me, I should say that I really did give it a fair shot. But, Taylor. Oh, sweet Taylor…. he just had this intense latch. (Come to think of...
Lizzie: So with my second baby’s birth approaching in the next 2 months, my thoughts are not far from breastfeeding. I feel nervous and excited at the same time. A new chance to give it a go, but also so much concern in case it doesn’t work out. Any other mummies in my position? May well be posting some ideas on how to help increase the chances of breastfeeding, but nobody is allowed to use them...
doubletroublemomma: As the mother of my children, I naturally know what’s best for them. Every decision I make is not based on a lack of knowledge or a snap choice. Despite the fact that Elias and Matthew are my first children, I know what I am doing. When I don’t know, and I need help, I will ask. That is all. This!
Coping With Breastfeeding Guilt. →
In the end, it’s not about how a baby is fed. It’s about how a baby is loved.
"Saturday Morning Soapbox."
theotherkels: I’ve got something on my mind, and its been there for awhile now. I keep thinking about writing about it, and then I get busy doing other things, but its always there lurking. I’ll think about it when I’m in the shower, or when I’m falling asleep, or when I’m waiting in the checkout line at the store. This has to do with breastfeeding, and It probably qualifies as soapbox...
A Facebook Group for "Proud Donor Milk Feeding... →
A place for mothers to talk and support each other in the decision to use another mother’s milk to nourish their baby or milk sharing. Those who have donated their milk or wet-nursed other babies are welcomed!
Mothers of Multiples Feeling Guilty about Not... →
For mothers who simply can’t make it work, the guilt can be overwhelming. They desperately want to nurse their babies, but aren’t having success. They’ve read books, sought help from lactation professionals, struggled and persevered. In some cases, they’re sacrificing their own health and sanity in the attempt. Women whose multiples are the result of treatment for...
What's the Hardest Part of Being a Mom? →
In this video, Summer talks about the hardest part(s) of being a mom. For her, the hardest parts are lack of sleep and the guilt we feel as mothers. What do YOU think is the hardest part of being a parent?
Breastfeeding Rates Are Up, Along With Guilt. →
Remember: Not all mothers who are able to breastfeed and are proud of that ability are “breastfeeding Nazis.” All mothers, regardless of the way they feed their babies, should be treated with respect. The campaigns touting the wonders of breastfeeding have been so successful that some women feel ashamed and guilty that they can’t breastfeed. Often they encounter breastfeeding...
babyceceandme: Why can’t we all just be nice to each other? To each their own about their parenting choices. Amen.
Anonymous asked: do you support mothers who CHOSE not to breastfeed?
Exclusively Pumping Moms Facebook Group! →
Who said that life is black or white? Breast or bottle? Exclusively Pumping mothers or pumping mothering are providing their baby with the best nutrition out there. It is unfair that people do not talk about this enough or that at hospitals it is not given as an option because it makes a big difference. Everyone has their story and their reasons, the important fact is that you are working...
doubletroublemomma asked: I just wanted to say that I love what you are doing. I was unable to breastfeed my twins, and unable to afford organic formula. After they were about a month old, and after never feeling like they were getting enough milk, my milk supply completely disappeared. I was never very strong in the first place. I would pump and pump and pump and only get an ounce, even if it had been a few hours since...
Goodbye, Breastfeeding Guilt. →
Worse was the guilt and anxiety. None of it made any sense, but thankfully, it’s over. I was not able to breastfeed Stella past 11 and a half weeks and I am officially 100% okay with that. I feel a new sense of freedom and confidence. I really, really do. This can only be very good for me and Stella.
Whether Breastfeeding or Bottlefeeding, You May... →
It is not uncommon that nursing mothers receive negative comments from their relatives, friends, or even complete strangers about how they feed their baby. Some people (mistakenly) think it is “gross” or that it shouldn’t be done in public, etc. Moms hear comments like, “Are you STILL doing that?” or “Didn’t you just feed her an hour ago?” or...
Coping With Breastfeeding Loss. →
Breastfeeding loss is the mourning process that happens when a nursing relationship is lost or never achieves the expectations of the mother. Maybe you never nursed and have lingering feelings about it. Maybe your didn’t nurse as long as you wanted. Maybe you did nurse as long as the child wanted but you weren’t ready to quit and you have unresolved emotions about it.
7 Postpartum Depression Survivors Share Their... →
Welcome to our world. The world of survivors of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, like postpartum depression, who have decided to have more children. Some of us are well down the path with those additions, and others are waiting. You’ll learn more about that later. For now, I invite you to sit back, relax, maybe even grab a cup of tea and meet the women who changed my life…
4 Reasons the Breastmilk/Formula Debate Makes Me... →
Now don’t get me wrong — I wholly support efforts to promote breastfeeding. It’s a good thing (which is why I chose to do it), and there are many things in our culture that prevent more women from breastfeeding that should be changed. But the debate still weighs on me, and I had to vent with these four. I know I’m not alone in my frustration.
Bottlefeeding: An Attachment Parenting... →
The term “nursing” means comforting and nourishing, whether by breast or bottle. Feeding time is more than just a time for nutrition. It is also a time for special closeness. The mutual giving that is part of breastfeeding should also be enjoyed during bottlefeeding. Besides giving your infant a bottle, give him your eyes, your skin, your voice and your caresses. Baby will...