February 2012
52 posts
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"Bottle-Feeding Made Me a Better Mum to My Boys." →
It’s about time we stopped beating up bottle feeding mothers. Far from making me a bad mother, as the pro-breastfeeding lobby would have me believe, I am quite sure that choosing to bottle feed made me a better mum to all my sons.
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Avoid Bottle-Feeding Guilt. →
While the reasons for doing it may be varied, the condemnation many bottlefeeding mums feel seems to be universal, and today an increasingly vocal breastfeeding lobby leaves many bottlefeeding mums cringing with guilt.
This horrifies Dr Heather Wittenberg, a parenting psychologist who runs the website BabyShrink. “For some reason, people – especially other mums – feel entitled to criticise...
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Why Vilify Mothers Who Bottle-Feed? →
Rather, I think — and let me not mince words here — that bullying women into breast-feeding and vilifying those who don’t is disgusting. It is, I believe, profoundly wrong to make mothers feel that because they bottle-feed or bottle-fed their babies — from birth, as a supplement or after a return to work — they are unnatural, negligent, selfish idiots.
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Reasons for Bottle Feeding. →
That’s what I wish would go through other people’s heads when they’re watching me feed my girl. No, that formula isn’t full of all the incredible goodness of mother’s milk, but the whole time Isabel drinks a bottle, we are looking at each other and she is tapping her fingers on mine and she is curling into me while I’m rocking her gently. It’s very, very sweet and intimate. It’s...
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Support for Moms Who Bottle Feed. →
Most moms know that breastfeeding is best for baby and for the moms that decide to breastfeed (it is a choice) there are a lot of great support groups online. Breastfeeding.com provides an online community that helps support moms and Baby Center has many articles for new mothers to help them learn the benefits of breastfeeding and the how-to’s to help moms problem solve. The support and...
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Why, Why, Why? →
If a baby is starving because of neglect then judge away, get outraged beyond comprehension. But if a mother is doing everything she can to make sure her child is happy, healthy and fed, don’t you dare judge her for it.
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Vindication for Mothers Who Don't Want to... →
Bottle-feeding mums are, says Dr Lee, assailed by a gamut of emotions.
‘Some are angry or guilty. I’ve spoken to women who feel that for the first time in their adult lives they’ve been treated like children, just because they’re unable or unwilling to breastfeed.
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Because It Could Be My Baby... →
This was an article from The Leaky Boob that Lucas’ donor milk mom shared with me recently. As she put it: “[This is] why I donate… this article pretty much sums it up. I am so glad that I am able to help my ‘milk baby’ grow and get the nutrition he needs!”
Every human baby deserves to have the normal nutrition for a human infant: human breastmilk. To every...
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Speaking Up for Those Who Can't. →
This is a story about a woman who had something negative said to her about breastfeeding in public; however, I believe it can apply to any parenting situation!
We’ve all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you’re stunned in to silence. If you’re at all like me, afterwards you go home...
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Why I Used to Hide the Formula Box. →
Life didn’t go as planned. I came home from the hospital feeling as though every other mother was looking at me and judging me. Those who were not yet mothers made comments that made me feel as though I were weak. Older mothers didn’t understand why I couldn’t just “deal” with his colic and move on. And mothers who were my peers who had never struggled with...
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Mama Bashing. →
Mama-bashing is like a playground fight. The sides gather, drawn by a controversial opinion – often genuine, sometimes trollish. If our children were involved in such vicious behaviour, we would not find it acceptable.
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Breastfeeding Support: It Really Does Take a... →
You’ve heard that it takes a village to raise a child …we certainly have come to believe that it also takes a village to breastfeed a child!
In the past (and still in some countries and cultures of the world) a woman would always have her mother, friends, sisters, and other female relatives to help her when it came to the sometimes surprisingly difficult task of breastfeeding her baby.
...
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5 Ways to Eliminate Judge/Be Judged Mentality. →
Breastfeed or formula feed? Epidural or au-naturel? Organic or conventional? Vaccines or no vaccines? Re-usable or disposable diapers? Time-outs or Time-ins? Crib or Co-sleeping? School, homeschool or unschool? The questions seem so simple on the surface but most parents know, the choices, the possibilities are endless and these questions have started wars in the parenting world.
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Bottle Feeding with Love. →
Having planned to breastfeed, I didn’t have much knowledge about bottle feeding, and a lot of what I did find didn’t seem helpful or a good fit for my parenting style. Ultimately, we acted on much of the advice given to breastfeeding moms together with a good dose of instinct.
I’ve been wanting to pass on some of what we’ve learned for awhile as a resource for those who may have found...
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Enlightenment and Healing. →
The loss that I felt as a result of not breastfeeding took me by surprise. No one tells you that you will experience grief. No one tells you that it hurts. No one tells you the sense of regret you will experience when you think back to those early days of your child’s life and you question the “what ifs” that might have made things different.
But this is not a story of grief and sadness;...
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No, You Don't Have to Breastfeed. →
The most recent data show that nearly 74 percent of women try breast-feeding, a rise of 50 percent since 1973. This is great. Breast-feeding is great. The problem is, breast-feeding advocates have become so anti-formula that they are alienating moms who don’t, or often can’t, do it. And as a result, the bottom line — the fact that we’re all trying to raise healthy babies —...
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How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting... →
Parenting can bring out the most interesting advice and remarks from people who we may not even know and of course, those close to us as well. Sometimes we don’t want this advice. Sometimes we resist it with every fiber of our being. There are many reasons for this, some of which we will explore. I would also like to offer some alternatives to reacting in such situations and instead...
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Is Bottle-Feeding a Mark of Bad Motherhood? →
These research findings suggest that a process of cultural transmission has turned provision of health information about the benefits of breastfeeding into a campaign against formula use. The effects of this upon women, babies, and health professionals, are very problematic. The main recommendation that can be made on the basis of our research is that use of formula milk needs to be...
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Promotion of Breastfeeding Goes Too Far. →
Nursing is simply a good method of feeding your newborn, but it is not the only safe or best way for all. The word is choice, and it is a big mistake to force one method for everyone. When some children fail to thrive on breast milk, there is, and should always be, an alternative feeding method, and it does not include the guilt be placed on these equally caring parents. Formula, despite...
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One Thing (Most) Parents Have In Common: They Try... →
I have made a choice when it comes to my parenting style and practice. This choice was made after countless hours of research and contemplation. I fully believe in the choices I have made, but I don’t believe that this parenting style is for everyone. After all, it takes all sorts of people to make the world go round, and I am thankful that we are all so unique.
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"Breastfeeding Failure" is an Oxymoron. →
Lately I’ve been wondering if “breastfeeding failure” is an oxymoron. I mean, to fail at something don’t you need to have a predetermined understanding of what failure is and what success is? Must you not be able to assess and quantify? But breastfeeding is a relationship—not a test—and success looks different for everyone. A teen mom, the mother of a preemie, a woman working outside of the...
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Four Ways to Share Your Parenting Philosophy... →
My goal here is to build on those posts further and present a few ideas for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner. Following are four things I consider when conversing about parenting, whether that be in person, online, with a friend, or with a random stranger.
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How to Bottle Nurse a Baby. →
If you are not able to breastfeed, or if you are feeding your baby EBM (expressed breast milk) from a bottle, you can still recreate some of the bonding experience of breastfeeding by bottle-nursing. Other people can use this method with your baby if they are watching them for you, but it’s best if you are your baby’s primary source of milk, just as if you were breastfeeding.
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Why Breast is Not Always Best. →
When my youngest child was born two years ago, I had no qualms telling the nursery I’d be bottle-feeding. The fact that he was my third bottle-fed child and that I had medical complications that made breast-feeding unrealistic eased my guilt considerably. But many moms hear “breast is best” and feel guilty about choosing not to breastfeed.
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Straight to the Bottle. →
After my second child was born, I decided I wanted my boobs back. It was a long journey, learning I deserved my boobs. Everyone had been telling me they belonged to my babies since my daughter was born three years ago. I tried breastfeeding her, but stopped when she didn’t gain weight. I felt less guilty about my first attempt than my second effort with my son. After all, he...
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10 Questions You Shouldn't Ask a New Mom. →
“Are you breastfeeding?”
The last thing a new mother needs is a guilt trip over how she’s feeding her baby. Besides, it’s really not your business.
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Breastfeeding or Not: New Mothers Need Plenty of... →
By applying less pressure you won’t lose mothers to formula feed, you will allow them to make up their own minds, which is the way it should be.
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"Not All Mums Want to Breastfeed- Get Over It!" →
I’m not sure if I agree with all of the “black or white”/judgmental comments in this article, but this is an opinion piece written to inspire a different line of thinking.
The end result of the constant “breast is best” browbeating and the expunging from public life of all images of infant formula for babies under six months is to communicate the idea that there’s only one ...
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Trust Drops "Evangelical" Breastfeeding Message. →
“We are very happy to put our hands up and say that over the years we have perhaps been evangelical about breastfeeding because at that time, it was needed,” said Mrs Fox. “Now we don’t believe that that is the right approach.
“Most women want to breastfeed and most stop before they want to because of external pressures such as a lack of support. We...
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The Return of Wet Nursing. →
“The social pressures, the moral pressures on mothers, in the name of these so-called health benefits is to a degree that is absurd,” says Linda Blum, the author of a book on the ideology of breastfeeding. “Mothers feel tremendous guilt.”
Many women, for medical reasons, find breastfeeding impossible- period. That was the case for one woman, a gynecologist living in ...
“Don’t be so quick to judge. We never have enough information to judge someone...”
– Joyce Meyer (via newheight)
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Why Breastfeeding is Like Abortion for Feminism. →
Feminism has achieved so much, but we have lost a lot along the way. The battles of feminism and those of abortion and breastfeeding are tainted with women trying to validate and define their own identities and worth. In the 21st Century, can we not find some level ground of respect? Wouldn’t treating other women with respect, who hold opposite viewpoints, demonstrate an accomplishment for...
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Heart & Encouragement For the Mommas with Bottles. →
I think back to the times when I was told that this bonding would not happen as long as he fed from a bottle. I remember the comments about how nothing could compare to the bond between a child & nursing mother & I wonder why I take that phrase so personally. How two years later, those thoughts still sting me because I love my baby, too & I think we’re pretty okay together. I...
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Feeding Tube Awareness! →
I know this all sounds scary. I am not going to lie to you. Tube feeding isn’t an easy road to take, it is a last resort. We tried like hell to get him to eat before and after the tube. However, as it became very clear that medical reasons were going to require tube feeding for a longer period of time, we embraced it as another way to eat. I am just so thankful that the technology exists...
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The Great Breastfeeding Photo Debate. →
…no matter how many times women post pictures of themselves breastfeeding on Facebook, and no matter how many protests are staged outside Facebook’s worldwide offices, nothing substantial is likely to change. So, what do I think about all the drama over breastfeeding censorship? I think it sucks. But I also think it’s time to move on.
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Do Breastfed Babies REALLY "Grow Up to Be Less... →
This Finnish prospective cohort study investigated whether breastfeeding compared to non-breastfeeding was associated with lower hostility in adulthood.
While the research featured some laudable methods, such as assessing participants multiple times over a long study period, its results are somewhat unclear. The difference between the average hostility scores was reported as being just...
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Foremilk vs Hindmilk: The Unnecessary Controversy →
Foremilk vs. hindmilk seems to be quite a popular topic among breastfeeding mothers. If I switch the baby too soon to the other breast, will he get the hindmilk? How do I ensure that my baby is getting all of the fatty milk that he needs? Sometimes I feel like too much breastfeeding information can add stress to a new mom. And this is why…
All breastmilk, whether it is 1 minute into the ...
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Anonymous asked: Thank you so much for sharing this post! My daughter is now almost 7 months old and I've been an "Eper" for almost 4 of those 7 months and have felt so alone the entire time. I can definitely relate to not feeling like I "fit" with either the exclusive breastfeeders or the exclusive formula feeders (and the feeling of defensiveness when trying to explain why I made the...
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Exclusive Pumping- The Best... Expressed! →
There is no room or need for guilt here - the mother who has done all she can to [breastfeed] “normally” isn’t a failure - she is just doing the best she can in the situation she is in. Mothers who choose to exclusively pump are very dedicated mothers - determined to do the best they can for their precious babies, ...
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Exclusively Pumping: Why Does it Get a Bad Wrap? →
Now I won’t lie and say that pumping is easy…it’s not. It’s time consuming and it can be frustrating to be tied to that pump when you have a fussy baby. But the tradeoff is fantastic. From day one, I was never “tied” to Elnora. I don’t say that in a bad way, because I love her dearly, but it was nice to be able to leave her with my mom or ...
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A Candid Post About Being a Stay-at-Home Parent. →
This is a great one for both moms and dads, but it is uniquely written from a father’s perspective.
…the loneliness persists. It’s borderline debilitating some days. Thank God for the internet, though. Without it, I’m sure I would have almost no link to the outside world.
This isn’t a cry for help, but I figured someone should address the elephant in the room that most of us stay...
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Mompetition: Could you suffer from this... →
TREATMENT: Once diagnosed, the first step to treating mompetition is to acknowledge that you have it. Understand that it’s not just a problem – it’s a sickness. Then, begin to examine the root cause of your mompetition. Determine how you contracted it and examine why and how it has progressed. From there, engage in activities specifically designed to counter the symptoms of mompetition as...
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thebreastfedbaby asked: This is great, thanks for this lovely place you created for the community!
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thebruhnettegazette asked: This blog was a beautiful idea! I think I'm going to have to start supplementing Emberly with at least one bottle of formula a day (she is 3 weeks old) because she isn't gaining weight like she should. She is still almost a pound under her birth weight! I was pretty bummed when I heard that from our pediatrician, probably because I've tried to do everything "all natural",...
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OKAY, SERIOUSLY?! :D →
lapetitemoi:
Lucas’ donor milk mom is… AMAZING.
Something she said the other day that made me cry:
I know this may sound weird, but I like donating because it gives me the motivation to be a better version of myself. I have found that I have started to eat healthier and make sure I am drinking plenty of water. I take my vitamins everyday so that my milk will not only be better for my own...
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How I Defeated my Own Breastfeeding Success. →
What would I say to new mom Jenn, if I could go back to a time five months and one week ago?
Don’t give up. The struggle is worth it. The exhaustion is worth it – Jack will only be a newborn once, and it won’t last long. Throw out the formula. Use the pump as a last resort.
Most importantly: I’d tell myself that I can do it.
