"This is the story of the night I stopped breastfeeding my oldest son and what PPD had to do with it.
I haven’t really shared this whole story before. Not in its entirety, anyway. And not because it’s a hard story or particularly shameful, but rather that—like a lot of things where PPD is involved—at the time I didn’t really realize the role it played.”
I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends — attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I’ve stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen. It’s called CTFD, which stands for “Calm The F*ck Down.” And that’s not a message to give your kids. It’s for you.
"A mom, a reproductive psychiatrist and a volunteer with Postpartum Health Alliance came together to create TheBlueDotProject. Receiving a generous grant from the Mason Hirst Foundation, the Project intends to change the face of Postpartum Depression and Anxiety by taking away the stigma and raising awareness."
World Milksharing Week is proud to invite families, friends, allies, health professionals, researchers, advocates, and the general public to participate in World Milksharing Week 2013 Blog Carnival…
Please join us by writing about one of the following topics:
1. The Hows and Whys of Milksharing 2. Partners, Relatives, and Friends 3. Milksharing Logistics 4. Diversity in Milksharing 5. History of Milksharing 6. Informed Milksharing, Milk Banks, Health Care Professionals, and Breastfeeding Support 7. A Party and You’re Invited- A Celebration of Milksharing
These present guidelines are considered to be a generic document that will provide guidance and support for countries and governments. When adapted at the country level, conditions (i.e. climatic and socioeconomic differences, etc.) within the country should be reflected. Individual countries should outline minimum training requirements for parents, caregivers, and staff in hospitals and day-care centres.
"People are always asking me: "Glennon, Why are other mothers so judgmental? How do I escape from all the mom-petition?" My answer is always this: If you need it to disappear, stop believing in it. Competition is just like shame. It only exists for people who believe it does.
I used to believe in mom-petiton so strongly that it left me more than a bit paranoid.”
“This is Ellie. She was born with hydrocephalus, a cleft palate and a myriad of other issues. Because of her condition, she was never able to naturally breast feed. But that didn’t stop Ellie’s mom, who wanted to give her all she could. You see, Teresa pumped her breast milk … every day.. for EVERY feed… for over a year to give to her daughter. Although Ellie could not suckle at the breast, she was still able to receive the best her mother had to offer.”
"Personally I think the mommy wars were created by the media as a way to pit women against each other and gain ratings and I just don’t want to be a part of that. I am soooo over it. Who cares if some moms choose to homeschool vs. use public schools or if some moms breastfeed and others don’t or if some moms let their kids watch more TV than others? The only choices we have control over are our own. What another mom chooses is her decision – who are we to judge that? And when you really think about it – what’s the point? It feels so much better to treat people kindly with loving intentions than to go straight to a place of judgment. We should be supporting women’s decisions instead of critiquing them and making snap judgments based off our limited knowledge of other people’s situations."
"Having a low milk supply has been extremely tough emotionally. I felt like I was failing my baby, not being able to do what is ‘supposed’ to come naturally. Having a sick baby, trying to pump around the clock and still try and breast feed was very stressful and often made my supply issues worse. I will be forever grateful to the wonderful women who donated their precious milk. They gave me the gift of having one less thing to worry about. It took pressure off me in times of very high stress and they have given the greatest gift of nutrition to my son. I wish milk sharing was more widely accepted as the norm.I still struggle with supply so still express (once daily these days) as well as take prescription medication and natural galactologues. With the help of these things we are still breast feeding at 19 months and I hope to continue until we are both ready to stop."
“I think all middle-class mainstream moms have gotten the message: Breastfeeding is excellent for babies, and you should do it if you can. And if you can’t — know that you can still be an excellent parent anyway. Know that you can still raise a healthy, intelligent, loving child. Not being able to breastfeed is not going to break you as a mother. It’s just one of many aspects of parenting, and you’re going to excel at some of those other things in ways that maybe your lactation-fountain friends won’t.”
"At the end of the day, we all just want to do the best job we can as parents; be the greatest mom or dad we’re capable of being. But with these incredibly irritating "mommy wars" that seem to always be raging on, it doesn’t always feel quite that simple. We can be made to feel inadequate or like we’re not parenting our child like we should. And that’s not cool. But here’s the thing: Being a good mom isn’t as hard (or as controversial) as it seems. It actually is quite simple."
"What I learned from the early days of mothering my son is that using every ounce of energy I had to do things “the right way” simply didn’t work for my baby or for my family’s situation at the time. Trying out the same things that failed miserably with my firstborn worked like a charm with baby #2. Every baby is different. Every family is different. There is no “right way” to mother that works for every child and every family."
“Invented in the mid-1800s as a last-ditch option for orphans and underweight babies, packaged infant formula has since been perfected to be a complete and reliable source of stress and shame for mothers.”—Tina Fey
When feeding your baby formula, preparing and storing it safely is essential to stop your baby from getting sick. You must sterilize the water and all bottles and feeding equipment for babies of any age drinking powdered infant formula.
Most people don’t prepare formula correctly, and this can have disastrous results. For powdered infant formula, the water should be boiled, slightly cooled (use by 30 minutes) and formula added. The water should be no less than 70C so it can kill pathogens in the formula. However, using boiled water right away can kill certain nutrients, using it by 20-30 minutes should put it around the correct temperature Check with a thermometer.
Powdered infant formula may cause botulism, and harbour the cronobacter sazakii bacteria which can cause meningitis, bacteria in the blood, and necrotising enterocolitus. This is why adding slightly cooled, boiled water is important to kill pathogens.
I repeat: boiling water is NOT done to “only” make the water safe, it is done to make the powdered formula safe. It is a crucial step in safe formula preparation and not one to overlook.
This site lists instructions for sterilization, and preparation of different types of formula.
“Breastfeeding advocates should not fear these studies any more than vaccination advocates should fear vaccine safety studies that do uncover new or tiny risks with certain vaccines. The goal of public health is to provide accurate, evidence-based information to the public. Even well-intentioned spin will backfire.”
“I feel guilty because every time I make the mistake of reading about breastfeeding and formula, I’m faced with you, dear breastfeeding advocate, telling me that the very thing that helped keep my daughter alive was poison.
Let’s start with the basics – what is nursing? While typically used to describe breastfeeding, nursing is the practice of nurturing your child both physically and emotionally. And, yes, nursing absolutely can be accomplished while feeding through a bottle. You can nurse your baby through touch, trust and attention.
“I have no idea how we went from raising babies with your family to women who try to “one up” each other. Sure, there may be some competitive moms, and I’m sure I’ll be one. But that’s for when my kids are playing sports… where competitiveness is welcomed… not when it comes to who can raise a baby better. I really wish that women would take the time to think about how someone may be dealing before they jump down someone’s throat. I even saw a Facebook group call formula ‘poison.’ Wow. Right? Poison. Way to make a woman feel HORRIBLE.”
"I don’t know what the solution is, but I do see what can cause damage and what can undermine women. What I can do is support women rather than judge them on their choices, and keep the dialogue open. What can you do? Do you know what would make a difference?"
“Are you “that mom”? You know the one that quit breastfeeding after only two weeks because you were just “too lazy” to stick with it. Nobody really knows what was going on behind the scenes – the baby that wouldn’t latch, the pumping, your baby’s constant crying, your own tears shed from trying to make things work. The only thing they know is that you are giving your baby – oh no – dare we say it… formula.”
"No wonder formula milk rationing is scary to British parents, since they have never been given the power to make their own choices in this area. Although we should be grateful that, unlike Chinese parents, we can be sure that whatever brand of formula milk we buy it will be perfectly safe for our children, some more useful information rather than ‘breast is best’ sermonising would be good."
Breastfeeding. No doubt it is the superior way of feeding your baby. Hands down. However, it does not come naturally for every mother. I started breastfeeding my baby from the day she was born. I read a lot of articles about breastfeeding, about the bond that the mother and child develop, how…
A Mother’s experience with breastfeeding and bottle-feeding.
This is a wonderful read. It is great to have ideals, but sometimes we or those we know cannot or choose not to meet those ideals, and that is okay. Support for one another in our commonality and our differences is how we will all succeed and learn from one another.
I had to do a lot of growing within in order to bring myself to breastfeed. Negative sexual encounters really affect the way we view our bodies. I can relate all too well. With that said, I am happy I was able to heal. I was able to heal BY breastfeeding. It gave my body parts new meaning. I am able to be selfless with my body. I am fortunate I was able to do this. I am sure for many mothers (like the one mentioned in this story) it may take an entire lifetime to heal.
An excellent perspective and a good reason never to negatively judge a mother for her feeding choice.
"So you may feel like you want to quit. Don’t. Pick up the motherhood towel right now and instead tell yourself you can do this today. You can. You can for your family. Don’t look at how Sally is mothering, or what the facebook status states, or the pinterest picture of the perfect mother. You are the perfect mother for your children today. Do not let the world qualify your motherhood. There is no price tag large enough that would ever illustrate the true value of motherhood. You are an amazing gift to your family."
Lily: I just thought I would share something that one of my son’s donor breast milk mommas (named Kieu) wrote today, regarding her experiences with exclusively pumping breastmilk for her 14-month-old (named Kaden). I thought it was a wonderful message and I admire her for her strength to overcome adversity!
This month marks a full year I have been exclusively pumping milk for my Kaden. Looking back, I can’t believe the amount of time I’ve spent pumping, starting out 8 sessions a day, half an hour per session, and now down to 5 sessions. I usually get 5 oz per session. That would average out to be 320 liters of milk a year! Holy cow! That’s a lot of milk!
I always knew I wanted to breast-feed Kaden way before I had him. [Not breastfeeding him] wasn’t even an option for me. What I wasn’t aware of was there are all kinds of problems that can prevent a mom from nursing: from latch issues, to postpartum depression, to oversupply (a condition where milk is over-produced and comes down so fast that when the baby latches on, he chokes). I had this condition; it was frustrating feeding him as he would latch on for a few seconds then started to yank off and cry hysterically. I would have kept on trying, but Kaden didn’t gain enough weight.
After 2 months of breast-feeding Kaden, I decided to exclusively pump milk for him. This way I knew the exact amount he was eating. I was saddened- I loved the skin to skin contact with my son. It was the closest contact I had with him…
Pumping milk is not an easy task as it may seem to be. I need to be consistent with the sessions to keep up with milk production. It means I need to wake up at the odd hours of 2 or 3 in the morning, not counting a stiff neck from looking down so much. I also get nipple pain from too much pumping. It was easier when Kaden was little. Now that he is mobile, it’s harder because sometimes he needs his mommy. A lot of times it happens to be during pumping sessions. All of these obstacles frustrated me, and at times, I wanted to give up! “To hell with it,” I thought…
But then I looked at my son, knowing what the benefits breast milk have done for him this far, I can’t stop. (Well, I vent to my husband instead. Sorry, Hon!) I also learned about other moms who can’t produce milk at all, who look for donors’ milk to feed their babies. These moms give me perspective and motivation to keep on pumping…
I am not trying to be a SUPER mom. I am far from being a SUPER mom.
I just believe wholeheartedly in the benefits of breast milk, its protection against diseases. Not one single formula out there can come close to breast milk. Isn’t nature incredible for supplying the best food for babies?
I am not judging other moms who choose other outlets other than breast milk. You do what you think is best for your babies. My goal is to share my story with other moms. And that if I can do it, you can too, because God knows I am the most impatient person in this planet! Amazing, just like that, time flies. One year of pumping milk has gone by…
Cheers to another year of pumping for Kaden. May I continue to be blessed with producing milk so Kaden can make it to age two! :D
I am so thankful for Kieu’s friendship and for her steadfast efforts! She truly is a wonderful woman and mom, and I hope that she may be an inspiration to other moms out there who have struggled with breastfeeding!
Hi ladies. Thanks for your blog. I visit it often. I have a question on bottle feeding as my baby is now over a year old. They say don't let your baby nurse on bottle at night to goto bed because of tooth decay. Also, too much milk is not too good as it kills the appetite. How do you deal with that? My baby is not ready to give the milk at bedtime. I tried diluting, giving water but doesn't work. It's little unfeair that breastfeeding babies can suckle to sleep while our bottle babies can't :(
Lily: Hi there! I am not sure how long this question has been here- sorry I had seen it sooner!
So first of all, my son is almost 17 months old, and I still cuddle him and bottle-nurse him at bedtime. I use Wedela natural toothpaste and brush his teeth after his bath at night, and he’s had no tooth decay. He also still wakes up 2-3 times per night to drink. I think when doctors refer to “bottle rot,” they are meaning when some parents give their baby a bottle in their crib at night. As for the food issue, I do have to say that my son is not very good with food yet, even at 17 months old. He drinks about 18-20 ounces of breast milk per day and 5-10 ounces of an organic soy/oat milk combo, as well as attempts 3 meals per day and snacks. Every baby is different though. :) Hang in there, and if your baby seems healthy, try not to worry too much. I had a friend recently share a link with me that has really helped me with my worries: Aha! Parenting.